Yesterday I went to visit my friend who is a shamanic healer. I go to her ostensibly to receive massages, but it is so much more than that. She works with many guides, and angels. She also works with Archangel Michael.
"Your heart is in France." she said to me during my treatment. "Your heart was broken there."
"Yes," I said to her as tears sprang into my eyes. "I love France very much."
And even though I love Canada and I am so eternally grateful to be here in this cherished part of the world, especially now, my heart is indeed in France. I have traveled there many times and almost stayed there on one occasion.
"You need to go back, and I believe you will be going soon."
Funny thing was, I have been thinking about this for awhile now, especially in the context of the re-write of my novel, A Song of Songs: Mary Magdalene Awakes". I had traveled into the Languedoc region of France to research a portion of my book....but I never went to Montsegur, I couldn't. I went as far as the Pyrenees that embraced France and Spain and I could have made it to Montesgur, but I just couldn't go.
Montsegur was the last bastion of the Cathars against the Catholic Church. 10,000 troops besieged this fortress and when it was apparent that the Cathars had lost, they were given an ultimatum: renounce their faith and receive lesser punishments or die in the Inquisition's fires.
They chose death. 244 souls walked from the fortress directly in the bonfires that the priests had waiting for them. They absolutely refused to renounce their faith.
Up until the time that I traveled to the Pyrenees I lived in an apartment in the house of a couple of professors at the University of Montpelier. Our initial relationship was warm and inviting, but quickly turned cold and quite dangerous.
I am a firm believer in intersecting lives, that we live lives in tandem, parallel lives, concurrent lives, and because time is ultimately not linear, but circular and spiraling, lives are laid on top of one another, as it were. And sometimes we experience "bleed through" when they collide.
It became apparent to me that this is what I was experiencing with my hosts. As their energy became darker and started to enter my living space the realization came to me that we had been together in the time frame of the Cathars, but that I had forfeited my life to them at that time. I had hoped to leave before things got too toxic.
On the day prior to my departure, as I was sitting drinking my coffee and looking out at the palm trees and the bougainvillea on a clear and beautiful sunny morning, I saw to my amazement that the sky became dark quickly, storm clouds and flashes of lightning lit the area around me. The palm trees themselves remonstrated with great anger.
"What the hell?" I asked myself as I stood up. The dark clouds emitted toxic energy that went through me like a knife. I was stunned by the dramatic change. It was then that I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, stealthily, one foot at a time. They stopped outside my door. At this point, the wind had reached its peak and howled outside, rattling the windows.
Without thinking, I turned and faced the door calmly. I planted my feet apart and placed my hands around my belt. It was then that I had a blinding realization that I had come to an intersection of history. This moment had happened before. Time had found us and brought us together again to see if the outcome would be different.
At that moment, I felt gravity shift and the floor tilted. I prayed to God for protection and then stood there waiting. It seemed as though an eternity passed and that the wind itself was suspended as I stood in the vortex of time. One second, two, three seconds passed, I wasn't going anywhere, not this time, and then I heard a curse as a foot spun and this person retreated.
As they did, the sun came out once more.
This next trip into the land of the Cathars will be one of completion, for I intend to climb Monsegur and stand at the top, as the Cathars did in their last days.
"Your heart is in France." she said to me during my treatment. "Your heart was broken there."
"Yes," I said to her as tears sprang into my eyes. "I love France very much."
And even though I love Canada and I am so eternally grateful to be here in this cherished part of the world, especially now, my heart is indeed in France. I have traveled there many times and almost stayed there on one occasion.
"You need to go back, and I believe you will be going soon."
Funny thing was, I have been thinking about this for awhile now, especially in the context of the re-write of my novel, A Song of Songs: Mary Magdalene Awakes". I had traveled into the Languedoc region of France to research a portion of my book....but I never went to Montsegur, I couldn't. I went as far as the Pyrenees that embraced France and Spain and I could have made it to Montesgur, but I just couldn't go.
Montsegur was the last bastion of the Cathars against the Catholic Church. 10,000 troops besieged this fortress and when it was apparent that the Cathars had lost, they were given an ultimatum: renounce their faith and receive lesser punishments or die in the Inquisition's fires.
They chose death. 244 souls walked from the fortress directly in the bonfires that the priests had waiting for them. They absolutely refused to renounce their faith.
Up until the time that I traveled to the Pyrenees I lived in an apartment in the house of a couple of professors at the University of Montpelier. Our initial relationship was warm and inviting, but quickly turned cold and quite dangerous.
I am a firm believer in intersecting lives, that we live lives in tandem, parallel lives, concurrent lives, and because time is ultimately not linear, but circular and spiraling, lives are laid on top of one another, as it were. And sometimes we experience "bleed through" when they collide.
It became apparent to me that this is what I was experiencing with my hosts. As their energy became darker and started to enter my living space the realization came to me that we had been together in the time frame of the Cathars, but that I had forfeited my life to them at that time. I had hoped to leave before things got too toxic.
On the day prior to my departure, as I was sitting drinking my coffee and looking out at the palm trees and the bougainvillea on a clear and beautiful sunny morning, I saw to my amazement that the sky became dark quickly, storm clouds and flashes of lightning lit the area around me. The palm trees themselves remonstrated with great anger.
"What the hell?" I asked myself as I stood up. The dark clouds emitted toxic energy that went through me like a knife. I was stunned by the dramatic change. It was then that I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, stealthily, one foot at a time. They stopped outside my door. At this point, the wind had reached its peak and howled outside, rattling the windows.
Without thinking, I turned and faced the door calmly. I planted my feet apart and placed my hands around my belt. It was then that I had a blinding realization that I had come to an intersection of history. This moment had happened before. Time had found us and brought us together again to see if the outcome would be different.
At that moment, I felt gravity shift and the floor tilted. I prayed to God for protection and then stood there waiting. It seemed as though an eternity passed and that the wind itself was suspended as I stood in the vortex of time. One second, two, three seconds passed, I wasn't going anywhere, not this time, and then I heard a curse as a foot spun and this person retreated.
As they did, the sun came out once more.
This next trip into the land of the Cathars will be one of completion, for I intend to climb Monsegur and stand at the top, as the Cathars did in their last days.